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| Body Needs Some Healing by Yasmin Lacey |
I know self-care is a buzz word of late. Everyone knows certain steps that can help them unwind and sometimes being told such simple things like - having a relaxing shower/bath - can seem patronising when it feels like the whole world has fallen on top of your head, there are two tonnes of problems on your shoulders plus, the pains of your past mistakes are pressing their needles further into your skin - Ouch!
Living in a world that constantly strives for excellence yet demonises many when they get there (being rich, extremely smart/talented/healthy/young/stable/beautiful, etc.) can be hard on everyone - those who "make it" or "have it" and the ones who "don't". No one escapes the scrutiny, suspicion, backbiting, gossip, and haranguing criticism from those who know us, the ones who don't, those who think they know us, and those who never will try to understand us, etc. Yet, all such external criticisms can pale in comparison to how harshly we judge, contort, censor, and restrict ourselves.
... What's your problem? ...
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| relax 1, 2, 3, 4 |
Yeah, relaxing in circumstances of high stress, anxiety, and malaise seems like a cruel joke that only those who seem to have had it easy in life, could be able to allow their silver-spooned tongues to utter such lighthearted nonsense advice, to the weary soldiers of the world, whom never seem to have a break. Yet, everyone has problems and sometimes the simple stuff really works ... Besides what harm could something like massaging your feet once in a while do? ...
Now, I've said this (in my intro to self-care) before - but, I'm not sure what you might think to be "self-care", but for me, it's always been some aspect of "self-development/reflection" and lately, I've learned that it's really about doing the best for yourself in any given situation that respects your own core values without diminishing or debilitating others. Yes my dear, sometimes that means drinking the water of forgiveness/love/acceptance first before you can gift it to others.
How can a desert quench anyone's thirst? How can you preach the sweetness of peace, love, and acceptance, if you don't even have any for yourself?
For me, self-care is a journey of reflection that does not end after a shopping trip or gets washed down the drain. It's a continual process of being present, reflective, and accepting of my needs, my journey, and all the work at hand - in order to be at my optimum to then help others without expecting the same sacrifice because I've already taken care of me.
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| 1, 2, 3, 4 |
Now, I'm not perfect and I'm definitely not saying that such conclusions have easily come to me. Just like everyone else, I've had the dirt of defeat kicked in my face time and time again, until I could no longer handle washing off the same problem for it to get thrown back at me. It was only until I began to grapple with the monsters of my past, present, and future fears - that I could begin to uproot the problem weeds that had been spoiling the soil and rotting the good seeds that I had been trying to grow. So ...
One of the first stages in self-care is to put yourself where you belong ...
You Are Number One
You Are Number One
Now depending on what you may have been told (or allowed to be) growing up or in your current community circles, putting yourself first may be an easy or very hard thing to do. Yet, putting yourself last is a recipe not only for you to quickly extinguish the light and joy out of your life but also a quick and fast road to becoming bitter and resentful to those around you.
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| break free 1, 2, 3 |
Sure in an ideal world those who put others before them all the time would happily sing kumbaya when they're being stepped on, stepped over, or kicked in the face by the very same people they decided to give their last Werthers (offering your last Werthers to someone is a real type of love y'all) - I mean it sounds noble and many poignant stories throughout history have shaken humanity to their core from tales of such outstanding devotion towards self-sacrificial unconditional love, which asks for nothing in return but only wants the highest good for another ...
Yet, we're human, and it's hard for us to not expect the same in return. Now I'm not saying that you shouldn't do kind things, I'm saying that when you do decide to share your energy in whatever shape or form (time/emotions/thoughts/material things, etc.), you shouldn't try and expect the same sacrifice in return and guilt those around you to essentially "payback" the kindness you've shown them. No one likes to be in debt or feel guilted by your silent (or not so silent) murmurs of repressed anger and torment over the kindness that they thought was free. Think of kindness (true kindness) as a gift. Please first gift-the-gift of kindness to yourself by nurturing yourself, so you can truly love your neighbour as yourself - instead of tallying up scores and waiting for someone to finally place you where you needed to be in your life all along - right at the top!
Are you number one?
Your comments are always welcomed and appreciated!
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